Lately I’ve been thinking about a metaphor for apathy. You know, that state of mind when you’ve edged over that line from caring to not caring. It’s never a sudden change but more like a slow slide. There’s been a drift from that steady surefooted stance of conviction to a laissez faire, letting go, that has you sideways. You may not even remember what, where or when you slid over that line. But, here you are.
The truth is that when you get here, you kind of like it. It requires less of you. It feels more aerodynamic, more comfortable. There’s less strain on your legs now that you don’t have to hold that stance so firmly. You think, “I can do this, no problem. I deserve a break from all that commitment of heart.” The headwinds were starting to get the best of you. Maybe it’s just time to start heading downwind for a while. So you turn your back and pull your hoodie way up. The wind is at your back. There’s nothing to lean into.
It’s funny how we can perceive this as freeing. We are autonomous, anonymous. Sadly, once we’ve crossed that line we can wander down this road for a long time. When a heart drifts toward apathy it can get rather dull, flat and numb. There is a tepid mist that can settle over us and deaden our responses. It’s just so much easier to not care. And besides, it would take so long to find your way back over that line.
But deep calls to deep and the Spirit calls to the Spirit within this weary apathetic soul, beckoning your heart to remember. Do you remember when your heart burned with the passion of conviction? Do you remember when what was true and right strengthened you to the core? Did you forget how I, the Spirit of the living God, burned with passion for you when my arms were stretched out on that beam? Can you remember how much I’ve loved you? I’m calling you out of your delusion. Listen to my voice. Wake up from your daydream, take off that hoodie and look back in my direction. Just. Look. Back. I will show you the way…
“Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, the place where you dwell.” Psalm 43:3 NLT