My neighbor is dying.
We’ve lived across the street from one another for many years now, but we never really had many encounters. In my neighborhood, people tend to spend more time in their backyard on the lanai. We might see each other in passing as we pull out of our garage or, on occasion, walking or biking. But Mary had health problems, and of late, used a walker to get around. My interactions with her were few and far between, a rare holiday party at a neighbor’s house with a brief conversation was the extent of it.
But one day last summer, she suddenly invited me to join a book club with a number of women scattered throughout our neighborhood. I really didn’t know any of these women with the exception of a couple.
I tend to be a bit of an introvert —so group things are not really my natural inclination. I’m more of a “one on one”type. So, this invite didn’t really get the juices flowing, so to speak. Rather, I immediately was trying to figure out how to politely get out of it. This tends to be my default. However, I’m a person that believes that God has a purpose for my life. That’s not to say, that every thing I do is epic, quite the contrary. More often than not, it’s the very simple and mundane things of life where he moves the most. So, I prayerfully but reluctantly stepped into the invite.
As I expected, it was awkward at first. They’d all known each other for quite some time and I was the new person. But Mary was, by dint of her accent, clearly New York-born. So, I asked about her background and, as it turned out, she was from the same Brooklyn neighborhood where my dad grew up. We started talking about landmarks, etc. and ironically, my cousin was the best man at her brother‘s wedding! Here we were, living across the street for years never knowing these personal things and our connection. Talk about degrees of separation.
Mary has this really big personality. She’s an Irish storyteller and such a down-to- earth, warm person. I really like her. She’s one of those people that immediately makes you feel comfortable. There’s no pretension, just genuinely jovial.
I haven’t seen her since March when my sisters came for a visit. They wanted to meet her because, as it turned out, in the ordinariness of neighborly encounters this really was an epic discovery. We talked with Mary and her husband Bob for a good hour. I’m thankful for that time. It’s a good memory, Mary sitting in her chair telling stories about life.
She’s in hospice now. Her children have come to gather by her bedside to take in the last bits of her life and tearfully say goodbye. The grief will be deep and she will be sorely missed. I suggested they videotape her and do a little interview about her life experiences. I hope they do. We did that with my mom in her last days. All too often, parents leave us with a lot of questions about their lives. What was it like for them growing up? What kind of struggles did they experience? What were their hopes and dreams and fears? When life comes to the end, the fences tend to come down and the heart can be more willing to be vulnerable. We learned some deep things about my mom. She was always private about her emotions. But in those last days, when probed, she shared those childhood joys and fears that formed her into the woman she became. We all cherish that video that gave us a deeper look into her beautiful soul. Why are we always so reluctant to go deep in the younger years? Are we just not interested? Too self-absorbed? Why does it take impending death to have these conversations?
Perhaps it’s because we were never meant for death. We were created for life in a beautiful world. The garden was meant to be eternal. Death scares us. So we walk around ignoring its unnatural, yet inevitable existence. The sin of our first parents, Adam and Eve, left us with this inheritance. It’s a dreaded reality but not a hopeless one. This present world in which we live is not the only one that exists. An eternal world still exists, yet at the moment, is unseen. We may have inherited death, but there is another inheritance, eternal life. It is ours to receive, but it has a conditional clause in God’s last will and testament. There is a question that we must answer. The question is, “what is your greatest need?” we may have many answers to this question, but there is only one answer that guarantees our eternal inheritance. The answer to this?—the forgiveness of our sin. This is not the particular sins of our daily lives, although those can drag us down, this is the forgiveness of our inherited sin that brought about death from the start. This world and all that is in it has been cursed since then. But God has not left us unredeemable. He has met our greatest need himself. He gave us Jesus, our Redeemer. He rose up from death to life. We don’t have to stay in the grave. When we recognize our need and receive this forgiveness, our inherited, eternal life begins in that very moment. And while death in this world will still occur for now, our inherited eternal life just moves in to its new world. And all who are redeemed will be joined together again. Death can be just a temporary absence from those we love.
One day this cursed world will be restored. There will be a new heavens and a new earth. You may not believe this, but you can read about it in the Testament. It’s all been laid out in very clear terms. However, the question lies there in bold print, “what is your greatest need?“
I’ve settled in to the book club and all the ladies are lovely—but I will miss Mary. I pray that God would enliven her heart to hear him say that her physical healing wasn’t her greatest need. I pray, that by his grace, she would know his love—poured out on the cross of Christ for her. I pray that she would take hold of his hand and bow with repentant thanks. I pray that she would enter into this new life, this new world. I will miss her, but I hope I will see her again.
Ask yourself, what is your greatest need?
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16
…“because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Romans 10:9 ESV
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared.”
Revelation 21:1 NLT
““I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.”
Isaiah 43:25