It’s 3 AM. I’ve just slowly drifted up from my dream world. I lie here, trying to climb back in and catch the thread of the story. I’m hoping for a few more hours of that sweet sleep. But then those thoughts start darting around like shooting stars – – impossible to grab ahold of, one after the other. Just like the night skies in the mountains, they come from random directions without any connection.
I know I’m not alone in this Circadia rhythm disruption. I hear the complaints of others, frustrated with the lack of sleep. I’ve taken to listening to a podcast by a neuroscientist who specializes in sleep disturbance. I love his voice. It has a very soothing quality. Every now and then he tells these stories that he calls “sleep stories“. They are basically bedtime stories for adults, spoken in a way to help you drift off into oblivian. And then there are those sleep apps that offer the sounds of rolling waves crashing on the beach, or gentle rain falling alongside some wind chimes.
Apparently sleep has become a very real issue for many. Professionals are adding it to the list of disorders. Is it the pace of life? Is it the chaos of the world? Is it the technology with its electromagnetic frequencies? Perhaps it’s just the cycles of life, but there seems to be a lot of tired people.
I often used to pray in those wee hours when sleep was so elusive. I would seek the mercy and grace of God for those I love and for those I knew were struggling with the battles of life. It felt a privilege to lay their burdens before the throne of the only One powerful enough to defeat the foes. And while I still whisper up the needs, I find it difficult to stay focused, to beseech with the same zeal of the past.
I long for a steady pattern of eight hours a night, but if I am going to be awake, I don’t want it to be a waste of time. I don’t want to chase shooting stars. I want to grab ahold of the bright and steady Morning Star who holds everything together by the power of his Word. His ear is attentive, and I want my heart and mind to hone in with regard to Whom I am speaking. He deserves my reverence, my full attention. Oh, he knows my weakness and he loves me still—I don’t feel his judgement weighing down on my scattered self. And this makes me feel all the more eager to be vigilant in these awakened moments. I can lean into him and rest in due time. My mind will eventually drift back down and begin to weave a new story. And when I awake he is still with me.
"I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star."
Revelation 22:16
“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!”
Psalms 139:17-18
“Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance. The Lord be with you all!”
2 Thessalonians 3:16
