I’m in a f-un-k.
I’m un-motivated, un-creative, un-satisfied, un-connected, un-grateful, un-accepting, un-forgiving, un-fun. I need to be de-funked.
I’ve found that going for a bike ride in the morning has a way of working out the ugly stuff that builds inside my head. I start out with all the various conversations of things I want to unload on others who I think need a reality check. You know, putting people in their place—setting them straight. Then I get mad at myself for even caring what anyone thinks or says. By nature, I want to fix things. I want to clear up misperceptions and bring clarity to chaos. This is my default mode. But default modes can be dangerous when hacked by deceptive intruders; intruders such as anger, indignation, self-righteousness, vengeance and the like.
After all unloading never really accomplishes anything good. Oh, it may satisfy an emotion that is panting at the gate but it usually ends in injury and you come limping home. No, it’s much better to reign in that power and work it through a process. For me, it’s a bike ride. Riding my bike has a way of reorienting me and awakening my senses. Though I may start out grumbling about some injustice; the wind brushing against my face begins to soften my muscles as they feel the touch of the breeze. The fragrances fill the air and as I breathe in these subtle scents; the mere pleasure surprises me with a smile. The sounds of the daily rituals come to life with each passing mile. The hiss of the lawns and the squawk of the birds in flight are the backdrop of a heart in change. The morning greetings of the other peace-seekers drift on the breeze and remind me that we are all the same—all in need of grace—all making our way.
My eyes have begun to focus on the small details of the beauty passing by. I’ve started to snap shots of these vignettes of simplicity. I want to capture the glory of this world I live in. I want to remember that life is fragile and a gift not to be taken for granted. I want to spend less time grumbling and more time giving thanks. I want to be satisfied in the simple and connected to the everyday blessings that surround me. I want to be accepting and forgiving as I have been accepted and forgiven. I need these daily rides to cleanse my soul from time to time. The inner soot darkens my vision and clouds my perspective. But as the miles go by my senses are renewed and the unloading is done before God and I have been de-funked.
“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.”
Isaiah 1:18 NLT