I know someone, someone whom I have loved for many years, someone who was made beautiful inside and out, that overtime began to just disappear into utter brokenness. This little girl, with curls and a nose that crinkled up when she laughed, started out like all of us when our innocence is precious and our hearts are simple with trust. We embrace the world with open arms and jump with curiosity at every extended hand. But sometimes, that trusted hand can be a kin to grabbing a red hot poker and it burns deep scars into the soft flesh that takes a lifetime of careful attention to the healing remedies.
I watched this young sharp-minded, quickwitted, full-of-so-many-possibilities-girl, escape into voluntary anonymity. This took on different forms at different times but always, she was on the lam. At first, it was just from men. She started dressing like a boy with the hope of avoiding any more burns. I suppose it seems like the logical thing to do when you think that the creature that is you will only bring you pain. It’s easy for a little girl to get lost in all the hurt and confusion, left to figure it out all alone.
It wasn’t long before she gravitated toward a deeper escape, one that would begin to let her escape from herself. Looking back, this was when she started the slow evaporation of her soul. Believing she was breaking free she walked straight into captivity. She built a prison around herself but sadly never even noticed the barbed wire, though it sliced her relentlessly. So numb had she become, so covered in gnarled scar tissue she couldn’t sense the danger.
Addiction is a devil incarnate. What makes it so successful is the very deceptive nature it embodies. It’s clothed in the dazzling jewels that lure the hurting like a fish to a shiny hook waiting to snag at the first nibble. It sends out decoys on reconnaissance to entice and seduce the broken wandering souls with promises of freedom. No one ever intends to get addicted. It’s relief that we all seek in this fractured world.
There are remedies, but as I said, they require careful attention for the healing of the soul. It requires divine intervention from the hand of God, a new-birth of heart and mind to begin afresh. There are no “overnight” fixes. It is hard work to break up the gnarled scars bit by damage bit. One has to be willing to submit to the healing pain that comes with renewing. And God so desires to renew our souls. But there will be a cutting away of the damage as the new and supple life begins to flourish. But oh, the renewing of a broken soul when they begin to see themselves as they were always meant to be, is so strikingly beautiful!
That little girl has been a woman now for some time. She is still locked in her prison with walls so thick with barbed wire that barely a shot of light gets inside. She knows about the remedy but she’s been numb so long she fears the pain of feeling, so afraid to take the risk. The curls are long gone along with the beautiful smile although the sharp tongued-wit has remained intact; recognition of a soul I know and love.
“Lord, help!, They cried in their trouble and he saved them from their distress. He led them from the darkness and the deepest gloom; he snapped their chains. Let them give praise to the Lord for the things he has done for them. For he broke down their prison gates of bronze; he cut apart their bars of iron.” Psalm 107:13-16 NLT